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  • Writer's pictureJulie Tenner

5 Things to give up to be more feminine

How you are is wonderful. It’s perfect. Nothing needs to change…until you start feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied with life and love - then it’s time to start looking at how you want to change, or what the change is you wish to see your world, and how you can be an energetic match for that.

5 things to give up to be more feminine:



X Hard work = bigger rewards.

X No pain, no gain.

X Go hard or go home.

X Just do it. Get it done.

X What have you done all day? Where’s the ‘proof’ of your worth, the product of your output?

Argh, it’s hard, hard work - isn’t it? Yet the whole premise is false. It’s built upon the colonialist framework of meritocracy - the harder you work, the bigger the reward, the more worthy you are. It’s a framework based in slavery. And nowhere is this more evident than how untrue it is.

And yet, it’s a mindset and belief system that most of us grew up with and most of us continue to believe.

The masculine energy pushes. It drives forwards. It moves mountains. It builds a certain amount of energy to complete the task, expends it and is then exhausted and needs to ‘refuel’. But if we’re always in ‘doing mode’, where do we ever refuel? It’s how we end up feeling so depleted and exhausted, like a car with no oil, at some point you crash and burn…in order to rest.

Counter to this is feminine energy - the energy that receives. It pulls towards it that which it wants. It’s an energetic match for what it’s seeking and waits for that manifestation to return to ‘the call’ (your desire). It’s magnetic. There’s no push, only pull. There’s no ‘hard work’ only energetic match.

It’s the source of our energy, the wellspring of life-force - and energy is infinite when you know it’s source. The feminine energy within all of us knows we’re better and experience a better life when we’re connected, ‘in flow’, well nourished and in a state of desire - that we feel even better when we receive.



The masculine exists in mind and consciousness.

The feminine exists in the body and feeling.

When we ignore our body we cut off our sensuality, and intuition. We shut off the flow of energy through our body…and soon, we’re not feeling anything - numb, not sure what we want or need. Or, we’re in so much pain - in cycles of physical pain, tension, resentment and ‘hardness’ within our tissues, mind and heart.



The feminine exists in the flow of energy - felt as love.

The feminine within all of us sees the world through love, is in touch with the flow of love (or lack of), the energy centre is the heart.

When we’ve blocked up our feminine, we stop being everything we can be in any moment - we withhold our fullness from others and from ourselves and eventually we stop feeling fulfilled, feeling vaguely empty instead.

We start ‘needing’ more validation and being seen from our partner - we feel invisible and taken for granted and then continue to withhold our truth, the fullness of our love and celebration from our partner…and in return we harm our experience of love and relationship.

Honour your need for love - it will guide you to fullness.



Most women, and humans, have been harmed by ‘the masculine’ or men in their life. That pain, unhealed, will continue to colour all relationships , from work to intimate, resulting in more pain and suffering.

Love and trust in ‘the masculine’ outside of you, begins by loving it inside of you, and healing all the blocks, pain and resentment you have towards both men and the masculine.

When you build a new relationship with the masculine, not a patterned or learnt one, you will completely change the interactions you have in life and love because you’ll be a different energetic match.

People are aways responding to how they feel about themselves in your presence. You’ll avoid people you don’t feel good or good enough around, and you’ll want to be around the people you do feel good and good enough around. You’re not fooling anyone - your body language and your energy announces how you feel before any of your words do.



Filling your life, mind and day with SO MUCH that you don’t have time to rest or be still is a magnificent way to avoid your body, feelings and inspired flow…and to continue to perpetuate beliefs like ‘I’m so busy’ ‘there’s no time to rest’ ‘I’m a slave to kids/house/partner’ ‘I can’t let go’ ‘I can’t stop’…all of which keep you in your masculine, your resentment towards your partner in place, your old beliefs in tact and any ‘desiring about a different life’ at bay (aka change).

In busyness we believe our worth is based on our production. That if we just keep going, we’ll finally ‘get there’ - but of course we don’t , because the benchmark keeps moving and the list keep growing. That if we just ‘work harder’ we’ll work our our answers…

But your nourishment and the deeply fulfilling answers you crave, the softness you want to be during your day, the magnetic woman you want to feel exists in your feminine, which requires ‘play time’ - time to be ‘in-flow’ where our conscious mind can step back and our energetic flow, our higher self connection, our sparking purpose can seep in to our awareness.

When we can have a deeper ‘knowing’ - hear a deeper calling, feel a deeper why. When we can feel our body and be in touch with our heart. It requires time to be soft and loving with yourself and your mind.

Want more on ‘being feminine’, check out QUEEN SCHOOL.

You may also like to check out my article on WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL FEMININE ENOUGH

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