As featured in Rent. Read the full article on their website here.
Moving in with your partner is a big step in any relationship, but it can also bring
challenges—particularly when it comes to blending your belongings and design styles. Maybe
you and your partner are moving in together because of the cost of apartments in New York
City, or you bought your first home in York, PA. Whether you're a minimalist moving in with a
maximalist, two eclectic souls trying to streamline your space, or you just found a good rental
house in Bellingham, WA, the process of combining your lives takes care to navigate. To make
it easier, we've gathered advice from lifestyle coaches, interior designers, and other experts to
help you create a home that's harmonious, personalized, and uniquely yours.
Start with taking inventory before you move
Before you even start thinking of decorating, it’s important to take stock of what you both
already own before you move. Manhattan, NY-based Ashley Billone from the lifestyle and travel
blog Hello Weekend & Co. recommends making a detailed list of everything you’re bringing into
the shared space.
“Moving in with a partner after having lived either alone or with another roommate can feel
overwhelming,” Billone confesses. “You most likely have different decorating styles and you're
meshing a variety of furniture and decor pieces. Ahead of the big move-in day, it's important to
take inventory of what you both have. Depending on the size of your new place together, you
may not need two beds, two couches, etc. Once you write everything out of what you both have,
it makes things a lot easier because you have everything written down in one place. From there,
you can decide what pieces you'll take and what ones you'll either store away, donate or sell.”
HGTV-featured interior designer Connie Hammond adds that it’s important to make sure
everything you’re bringing will fit comfortably into your new space. “Pick the best size and shape
of furniture that works in your rooms,” she says, “The focus should be the pieces that fit your
new home best, blending both of your needs and desires together.” Having this clarity ahead of
time will make moving day smoother and allow you to focus on creating a cohesive space.
When it comes to blending styles, compromise is key
“Compromise is essential for building a space that reflects both partners' needs and desires,”
emphasizes Suma Karandikar, co-founder of the midwest-based clinic Thrive With Therapy.
“Identify your core, non-negotiable needs, such as natural light, functional furniture, or a calming
color palette,” Karandikar suggests. “From there, be open to collaborating on the decorative
details.”
Janice Pollard, representing short-term rental marketing and design agency Marshmallow Hill,
follows up this idea with a simple yet effective exercise: “Each partner should write down their
‘must-haves,’ ‘nice-to-haves,’ and, of course, ‘hard passes.’ Then, compare notes.” By
understanding what matters most to each of you, you’ll find common ground and avoid
unnecessary conflicts.
Moving in with your partner will have its ups and downs as you adjust to the experience of living
together. Disagreements over design choices, chores, or what time to eat dinner are bound to
happen. Mila and Jeremy Smith who run Single to Couple Relationship Coaching assure us that
this is perfectly normal. “No one can agree on everything all the time,” the Smiths reiterate. “On
the other hand, regularly suppressing your thoughts and feelings is not healthy for you or the
relationship. Most couples will do their best to make joint decisions; however, when it’s not
possible, compromise by letting both of you have a say in your new routine or how you
contribute (for example, an element of design or your own space). It's better to have an eclectic
home reflecting your personalities than living in an unhappy place looking as though it's come
off a page of a furniture catalogue.” If differences do arise, remember to communicate in a
friendly and respectful manner with your partner—after all, you’re on the same team.
Use separate spaces to reflect your individual tastes
If blending everything feels overwhelming, consider carving out designated spaces for each
person to add their personal touch. Samantha Flores, motherhood blogger at Her Journal
shares, “If your styles are very different, compromise by decorating separate rooms. Maybe
your partner gets the spare bedroom, and you get the office.” Creating “zones” allows for
individual expression while keeping the shared spaces cohesive.
For neurodiverse couples, Natalie Roberts, a neurodiverse relationship coach, emphasizes the
importance of personal space and alone time. “Prioritize individual areas to support sensory
needs and avoid preference abandonment—giving up what’s important to you—or preference
projection, which is persuading others on what’s important to you.” Whether it’s a reading nook
or a workspace, having a retreat of your own can make all the difference in creating a
harmonious living space with your partner.
Begin with the basics and let your space evolve together
When you’re moving in with your partner, there’s no need to rush to fill every corner of your
home. Fatma Saydem, the owner of interior design firm FS Interiors advises, “Take your time
decorating; start with the basics and let the space evolve naturally as you live in it.” Focus on
foundational pieces like a sofa, a dining table, and a comfortable bed, and slowly layer in decor
that reflects your journey together.
Soni Mehra, founder of South-Asian inspired home decor brand Marble Lotus, adds a reminder
to focus on flexibility. “Creating a home together as a couple is all about blending individual
styles while creating a cohesive and comforting space,” Mehra says. “Start by each choosing
one or two personal items that carry special meaning and that reflect each person’s unique
aesthetic. Find creative ways to incorporate them into your shared areas—this can add warmth
and authenticity to the design.”
A thoughtful approach to blending styles can help create a space that feels truly unique. High
end interior designers Savvy Design & Co reveal their secrets. “Design isn’t about following
trends—it’s about curating items that make you feel alive in your own space. Start by identifying
each person’s must-haves, like a favorite chair or piece of art, and use these as the foundation
for a unique, shared home. Build around these essentials, focusing on pieces you both love,
and keep the design flexible with neutral foundations. A personalized, well-loved space will feel
more like 'yours' than any trend ever could.”
Seb Cowie, a father of five and author of Dad Blog shares his personal experience from when
he began living with his partner: ”When my girlfriend moved in, my house was a minimalist
nightmare—just budget basics and practicality, with zero style or personality. But as we started
decorating together, I realised the magic in her touch; she added warmth, style, and a sense of
connection I hadn’t even thought about before. Slowly, it became our home.”
Personalize your new space with art, photos, and keepsakes
One of the best ways to create a home that feels uniquely yours when moving in with your
partner is by adding personal touches. Kaylee Johnson, the wedding photographer behind
LaShay and Light Photography suggests displaying high-quality photos of you and your partner.
“As a wedding and couples photographer, I’ve personally seen how displaying high quality
photos can bring life into a room,” she shares. “Photos are also incredibly customizable: from
your choice of outfits and photographer to the frame and finish, photos can help establish your
desired aesthetic with a personal touch.” Whether it’s wedding photos, travel snapshots, or
candid moments, photos of the two of you can bring warmth and personality to your shared
space.
Shay Yellin, editor-in-chief at Bespoke Bride encourages couples to embrace DIY projects. “A
handmade photo wall or custom coffee table can add warmth and character,” she suggests. You
can also add a “wildcard” piece that reflects each person’s personality, even if it doesn’t
perfectly align with the other’s style. Yellin reveals, “When my partner insisted on keeping his
guitar collection in our minimalist living room, it seemed like a clash at first, but now I love the
charm it adds. Decorating together is a gentle reminder that blending lives is about the quirks
and compromises that make your space feel real.”
Don’t forget to incorporate functionality and comfort
While decorating is an important part of moving in with your partner, above all your home should
feel comfortable and functional. Meredith O’Donnell, fine furniture expert, reminds couples not to
skimp on good upholstery and seating to make each room a comfortable space to be. To help
create a welcoming space, allow contrast in your home: “We like the word ‘eclectic’, combining
new pieces with older, sentimental items you each want to keep,” O’Donnell says. Manish Bhati
from Ace Craftique suggests balancing aesthetics. “A blend of clean lines and graceful curves
balances simplicity with charm, creating a unique, welcoming space,” Bhati explains. “For
instance if one person enjoys the simplicity of oak furniture while the other appreciates the
elegance of French inspired decor, try pairing a simple oak table with a French-style armchair in
modern fabric.” Whether you favor modern minimalism or cozy charm, striking a balance will
help both partners feel heard.
Maintaining connection when moving in with your partner is also essential, and the way your
home is set up can either aid or detract from special moments together. Intimacy and
relationship coach Julie Tenner says to remember that home is more than just a good-looking
room. “Create spaces that invite you to linger,” Tenner shares, “cozy nooks for coffee together,
a dining area that sparks conversation, inviting spots for laughter with friends. Design your
home to amplify the moments that bring you closer to each other and those you cherish.”
Finally, don’t forget about space saving storage solutions to maximize your space and free your
mind from clutter. When you move in with your partner, you don’t just merge lives, you merge
things as well. “Prioritize practical, beautiful storage to keep clutter at bay and create a calm,
welcoming space that nurtures both of you,” Tenner recommends. “When everything has a
home, it reduces overwhelm, supports well-being, and gives each of you room to breathe and
thrive in your shared space.”
Try letting one person take the lead when you move in with a
partner
When you and your partner move in together, one of you might be more inspired by a certain
room in the house, or have particular items they can’t bear to part with. Interior designer Sarah
Reed at Portland, OR-based Arbor & Co recently moved in with her partner after they both left
previous marriages, leaving many items for the two of them to collaborate on in their new home.
Reed shares, “I removed a few of my old pieces of furniture that I wasn't attached to and she
brought in the important pieces she loved and was attached to. We chose a new sofa together,
and she was able to choose whatever items she wanted to replace as far as linens, kitchen
accessories and bathroom accessories. We decided what each person was in charge of in the
home, based on what we felt our specialties were in and what we cared more about. Luckily, we
have the same style so it wasn't hard!”
While divvying up decision-making might work for some, for other couples it’s best if one person
takes the lead on styling the home. “Personally, I usually let my wife take the lead on
decorating,” admits Taylor J Kovar, one half of finance blog The Money Couple. “She has a
special touch that really brings our spaces to life, and I trust her instincts completely. She loves
the process, and I love seeing the joy it brings her. While she decorates our homes and office
spaces, she always asks for my opinion, too, which makes it a true partnership.”
If one partner is stepping in with decorating, Kovar suggests deciding on a central theme or
color palette together as a couple to help guide the decor and to create a cohesive look
throughout the home. “Embracing each other’s strengths and sharing ideas can really help you
create a home that feels uniquely yours,” he concludes.
Communicate openly and respect each other’s boundaries
When you’re moving in with your partner, clear and respectful communication is essential
throughout the process. Samantha Johnson from SJ Design + Build believes having honest
discussions around expectations can make or break your experience of moving in together.
“Combining one's lives together can be complex, and both partners deserve to be heard,”
Johnson expands. “When it comes to decorating, discussion topics can look like: which of our
items are merging, and what items are going into storage or for donation? If areas of the house
need remodeling, which spaces should we prioritize? What makes us feel at home and how can
we make sure we both feel at home in this joint space?”
Chelsea Simpson, a life coach, also stresses the importance of addressing concerns promptly
and calmly. “It’s not about winning or losing an argument but understanding each other’s
perspective and working as a team,” Simpson encourages. Respecting each other’s
boundaries—like the need for personal space—will ensure both partners feel comfortable and
heard. “Taking time apart allows you to return to shared moments feeling refreshed and more
present,” Simpson concludes. “Respecting each other’s boundaries will create a balanced,
harmonious living situation where both partners can thrive.”
Regular check-ins can help the communication process feel like part of your new routine
together. Max and Tatiana, who create tools for couples to connect at The Couple Summit,
highlight relationship TLC as an important aspect of moving in with your partner. “Weekly or
monthly relationship-focused conversations allow you to stay connected and discuss your
relationship, home, and shared life. It’s an excellent opportunity to share what matters
most—highlights, concerns, personal news, decor ideas, and more,” the couple shares.
“Relationship check-ins help deepen your connection and nurture the home and life you’re
building together.”
Build traditions and memories together
When you move in with your partner, it isn’t just about the items you place in your home and
how you decorate—it’s also about creating a life together within those walls.
Grady Fort, Clinical Director and therapist at Bay Area Couples Collective, emphasizes how
taking time to create traditions together in your new space can help it feel like home for both of
you. “Making your own traditions in your new space can help you connect on a deeper level,” he
describes. “Whether it's baking cookies together, watching a favorite movie, or decorating your
home during the holidays, finding something unique to share creates shared memories and
strengthens your relationship."
Sara Elchner, relationship coach, adds that things don’t make a home; it’s the meaning behind
them and the memories that do. “It's essential to approach decorating not just as filling a space
with furniture, but as crafting a shared sanctuary that reflects both of your personalities,” Elchner
shares. “Remember, the items you choose to surround yourselves with are not just things, but
anchors of memories and tokens of love. Embrace this process as an opportunity to grow
closer, learning about each other and yourselves along the way.”
Moving in together and creating a home that reflects you both
Moving in with your partner is a journey of compromise, collaboration, and creativity. By learning
to work together, you’ll find that blending styles involves more than just combining aesthetics.
Angie Tsiatsos Phillips, a counselor at Colorado Couple’s Clinic, says to remember that style
differences are tied to what makes each person unique. “Learning to blend tastes in your living
space can represent a conscious and intentional blending of who the two of you are as a
couple,” Phillips reflects. “Use this step as a practice for accepting influence and requiring your
partner to accept influence—an important practice for creating and maintaining a solid, intimate
foundation.”
Relationship coach Julie Tenner sums it up best. “In every couple, there’s a balance of
opposites: One’s a decor enthusiast, the other’s laid-back; one’s into minimalist vibes, the other
loves sentimental shelves. Embrace the magic in these differences—let go where it’s not
essential to you, and trust your partner’s lead. Together, you’ll create a home that’s a perfect
reflection of both of you.” By combining what matters most to each of you and creating shared
spaces that reflect your story, you’ll build not just a home, but a strong foundation for your
relationship. Follow these decorating tips and ideas for moving in with your partner, and you’ll
be sure to find your flow together in no time.
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