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  • Writer's pictureJulie Tenner

Female arousal is completely different to what we're taught

When I ask couples ‘what is sex?’⁣

What I invariably hear is, it’s 🍆in🍑.⁣

When I ask men in my workshops ‘𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨?’, 100% of men answer ‘𝗻𝗼’.⁣

When I ask women this question, 100% say ‘𝘆𝗲𝘀’.⁣

When I ask men in my workshops ‘𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 ‘𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨’ 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 ‘𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩’?’ 73% of men answer, ‘𝗻𝗼’.⁣

86% of women answer ‘𝘆𝗲𝘀’.⁣

In the couples I work with, sex is usually over once the 🍆 has ejaculated.⁣

Both men and women perform for the 🍆 to get it up, keep it hard and feel desirable.⁣

Foreplay is considered the thing you do to get to ‘the main show’.⁣

Both men and women run beliefs around:⁣

❌ touching the 🍑 early on = arousal ⁣

❌ going straight for the nipples = arousal⁣

❌💦wet without much time or effort⁣

❌ that it’s a hard 🍆 that makes her 💦⁣

𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘀ex 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘆 🍆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 - 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲🍆, 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲🍆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲🍆 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗲𝗷𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱.⁣

It’s not your fault. It’s not anyones ‘fault’. But it is important to recognise the system you’re a product of and begin discussing with your partner if there’s anything you want to change.⁣

Because FEMALE arousal looks completely different.⁣

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