I had the date of my dreams last night๐งโโ๏ธโฃ โฃ Let me preface this with, itโs been crazy times here. 2 years of lockdown, homeschool x 3 + a very active pre-schooler + work (cue, no break!), I worked a crazy 4 months straight, so I could have December off, where I organised a killer 50th 4-day fiesta, backed it up with a 4yo birthday party, then an 8yo birthday party, then Christmas, then a puppy, & here we are, still up 1-2 times a night + back to cleaning ๐ฉ + wee ๐คฆโโ๏ธโฃ โฃ Itโs gotten disconnected. We were back in cycles of clean up, TV, bed. Resentment + tension rising.โฃ โฃ โ๐โ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต. ๐๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ.โ He said.โฃ โฃ When disconnection goes on too long thereโs an awkwardness in contemplating connection, isnโt there? My mind raced, my body recoiled. How could I be with all the built up tension, all the presumed โunseenโ pain AND be out on a date??โฃ โฃ So I went to counter all the reasons I couldnโt.โฃ โฃ Like a pro, he navigated my resistance. โ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐โ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐โ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ช๐ต ๐ถ๐ฑ. ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ. ๐๐ฆโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ต ๐ป. ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ, ๐โ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ.โโฃ โฃ I smiled. That was enough to cut through my BS. โฃ I got ready. I was nervous. All my control-freakiness seeped to the surface. โ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐โ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ!โ I begged him. But he wouldnโt let on.โฃ โฃ We got in the car, I was literally jiggling with nervous anticipation. โฃ โฃ He parked. We were at strip shops. โ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ข๐บโ he lead. My heart sunk a little as I saw all the restaurants & thought how much I didnโt want to sit & make small talk.โฃ โฃ He lead me through glass doors. Up an elevator. He opened a door & lead me insideโฆ
A softly lit room revealed a table laid out with champagne & antipasto. A bed with flowers. โฃ โฃ โ๐๐ตโ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฉ๐ดโ he said.โฃ โ๐๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ & ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ช๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ฌ๐๐จ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐. ๐ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ญ๐ข๐บ ๐ช๐ฏ & ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ซ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ด๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ.โโฃ โฃ Well I burst into tears ๐ญ Finally, my heart flowed again. Itโs always surprising to me how thick those walls can get, yet how quickly they can melt.โฃ โฃ We couldnโt stay overnight, we donโt have overnight sitters. But we could stay as long as I wanted.โฃ โฃ I held him for the longest time, as my heart told the stories my voice no longer needed to.โฃ โฃ We lay in silence, sipping ๐ฅ where the only sound was ๐พbubbles. A butterfly suddenly appeared in our room.โฃ โฃ We let the butterfly out & a whole lot of fun in ๐คซ โฃ โฃ It was my perfect date ๐no etiquette or people, but loads of silence + debauchery #naileditโฃ โฃ There was a time he could never have done this. There was a time Iโd never have let him.โฃ You can change anything you want, with just enough heart + just enough courage โฅ๏ธ
You can do relationship โtrainingโ with me in QUEEN SCHOOL.
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