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  • Writer's pictureJulie Tenner

The reason you 'keep doing the work' in relationship

I had the date of my dreams last night๐Ÿงšโ€โ™€๏ธโฃ โฃ Let me preface this with, itโ€™s been crazy times here. 2 years of lockdown, homeschool x 3 + a very active pre-schooler + work (cue, no break!), I worked a crazy 4 months straight, so I could have December off, where I organised a killer 50th 4-day fiesta, backed it up with a 4yo birthday party, then an 8yo birthday party, then Christmas, then a puppy, & here we are, still up 1-2 times a night + back to cleaning ๐Ÿ’ฉ + wee ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธโฃ โฃ Itโ€™s gotten disconnected. We were back in cycles of clean up, TV, bed. Resentment + tension rising.โฃ โฃ โ€œ๐˜โ€™๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต. ๐˜‰๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜บ ๐Ÿป๐˜ฑ๐˜ฎ.โ€ He said.โฃ โฃ When disconnection goes on too long thereโ€™s an awkwardness in contemplating connection, isnโ€™t there? My mind raced, my body recoiled. How could I be with all the built up tension, all the presumed โ€˜unseenโ€™ pain AND be out on a date??โฃ โฃ So I went to counter all the reasons I couldnโ€™t.โฃ โฃ Like a pro, he navigated my resistance. โ€œ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜โ€™๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜œ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜โ€™๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ. ๐˜ž๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ. ๐˜ž๐˜ฆโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐Ÿป. ๐˜•๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ, ๐˜โ€™๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ.โ€โฃ โฃ I smiled. That was enough to cut through my BS. โฃ I got ready. I was nervous. All my control-freakiness seeped to the surface. โ€œ๐˜‘๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜โ€™๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ!โ€ I begged him. But he wouldnโ€™t let on.โฃ โฃ We got in the car, I was literally jiggling with nervous anticipation. โฃ โฃ He parked. We were at strip shops. โ€œ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บโ€ he lead. My heart sunk a little as I saw all the restaurants & thought how much I didnโ€™t want to sit & make small talk.โฃ โฃ He lead me through glass doors. Up an elevator. He opened a door & lead me insideโ€ฆ

A softly lit room revealed a table laid out with champagne & antipasto. A bed with flowers. โฃ โฃ โ€œ๐˜๐˜ตโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ดโ€ he said.โฃ โ€œ๐˜ž๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ & ๐™„ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ช๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™œ๐™ž๐™›๐™ฉ ๐™„ ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ช๐™ก๐™™ ๐™œ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ก๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š. ๐˜ˆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ & ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ซ๐˜ฐ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ.โ€โฃ โฃ Well I burst into tears ๐Ÿ˜ญ Finally, my heart flowed again. Itโ€™s always surprising to me how thick those walls can get, yet how quickly they can melt.โฃ โฃ We couldnโ€™t stay overnight, we donโ€™t have overnight sitters. But we could stay as long as I wanted.โฃ โฃ I held him for the longest time, as my heart told the stories my voice no longer needed to.โฃ โฃ We lay in silence, sipping ๐Ÿฅ‚ where the only sound was ๐Ÿพbubbles. A butterfly suddenly appeared in our room.โฃ โฃ We let the butterfly out & a whole lot of fun in ๐Ÿคซ โฃ โฃ It was my perfect date ๐Ÿ‘‰no etiquette or people, but loads of silence + debauchery #nailedit#naileditโฃ โฃ There was a time he could never have done this. There was a time Iโ€™d never have let him.โฃ You can change anything you want, with just enough heart + just enough courage โ™ฅ๏ธ

You can do relationship โ€˜trainingโ€™ with me in QUEEN SCHOOL.

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